Marriage: 6 Commitments-Lesson 11 "Pulling Weeds" & "Planting Seeds"

Housekeeping

-OCC Packing Party: Immediately after Family worship service/budget discussion

-Begin sign ups to reserve Gingerbread House Kits

-No Sunday School on the 21st: Thanksgiving Meal. Need volunteers to help set-up, serve, break down. Sign up sheets next Sunday.

Prayer

Chapter 7 “Pulling Weeds” part 2

Galatians 5:19–21 CSB

19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things—as I warned you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Six Primary Weeds

Selfishness

Busyness

Inattention

Self-Righteousness

This is where we left off, page 120.

Fear

Laziness

Chapter 8 “Planting Seeds”

Colossians 3:1–17 CSB

1 So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5 Therefore, put to death what belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, God’s wrath is coming upon the disobedient, 7 and you once walked in these things when you were living in them. 8 But now, put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self. You are being renewed in knowledge according to the image of your Creator. 11 In Christ there is not Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all. 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. 14 Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15 And let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule your hearts. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

“The character of marriage is formed in thousands of little moments of saying yes to one thing and no to another. Is is the character developed in little moments that you carry into those Big Moments of decision.” page 127

Examine your marriage…search for those little thoughts, attitudes and actions that you MUST say No to. Then, begin to focus on that you must say “Yes” to so as to allow the room to shape your marriage.

Quick Question:

“What is one habit you have worked hard to overcome? What did you do that finally worked to help you achieve this goal?”

Galatians 5:13–16 CSB

13 For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself. 15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another. 16 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh.

Weeds & Seeds

The warning in verse 15.

Galatians 5:15 says, “If you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.” Think of a time when you were biting and nasty to your spouse. What happened next? How can you prevent little moments of sinful, biting behavior from becoming destructive?

“We all tend to forget that these little moments are important precisely because they are little moments. Since we live in days that are filled with little moments, it is precisely here that the character and quality of a marriage is formed.” bottom of page 129

Song of Solomon 2:15 CSB

15 Catch the foxes for us— the little foxes that ruin the vineyards— for our vineyards are in bloom.

Great question to ask...

“How do I daly influence the way my spouse thinks about God, him-or herself, and life?”

Again..Are you a positive or negative influence in the way your spouse thinks of him- or herself? of the World? About God?

Think on this...How might thinking of yourself as an influencer for your spouse change the way you relate to him or her?

The DNA of sin is Selfishness

**Most often, we are angry because the other got in the way of something we wanted.**

Key Thought: page 131

“Healthy marriages are healthy because the people in those marriages have learned to recognize and say no to selfish instincts that lurk in their hearts and in the heart of every one of us.”

What does he mean by this, and how have you seen this to be true in your own marriage?

Manipulation: “In ways in which you will be unaware, you will work to get your spouse to participate in what you want, to deliver what you are convinced you need, and to submit to what you feel.” page 132

3 Tools of Marriage Manipulation

Threat

Payment

Guilt

**The very nature of manipulation is that it is propelled by love of self, not love for the other.**

In Closing

Next week we will continue with our 2nd Commitment: “We Will Make Growth and Change Our Daily Agenda” as we conclude chapter 8 “Planting Seeds”

Pray